July 3, 2001
Prepared for Matt Hicks
Script for 8-page story
|Devin Kalile Grayson
CYCLOPS: “ALL FOR ONE
”BURGER KING “BIG KIDS” DOT COMIC
GENERAL NOTE TO ARTIST: Can’t wait to
see you bring this to life! A quick word about Dot Comics – as you probably
know, the format breaks up pages by pulling, or “popping,” out one or two
panels at a time. The downside to this otherwise dynamic and inventive
presentation is that these pop-ups are viewed resting on top of the whole
page, which can sometimes be extremely visually distracting. So to that
end, I’d like to urge you to stick with very clean, traditional panel layouts
and heavy, solid borders. I think that will really help with the final
impact the comic has when translated into Dot Comic format. Thanks!
Now, on with the show:
PAGE 1, splash
Open on a nice, kinetic,
pin-up-worthy shot of Cyclops fighting his way through a roaring fire.
For visual kicks, let’s say the conflagration is consuming a large ship
at sea. In fact, make it a naval destroyer or aircraft carrier.
Cyclops is on the
main deck. A wall of flame blocks the main cabin, the cargo bay is in imminent
danger of exploding, and the floor plank boards are burning through, making
the deck almost impossible to cross. To make matters worse, two Naval officers
are unconscious, one near Cyclops, and the other closer to the impenetrable
Cyclops is currently
aiming his visor-controlled concussive eye blasts at the water, hoping
to cause a reactive wave to come crashing over the boat.
As always, Cyclops is intense
None of the other X-men
Title and credits (such
as they may be) here.
CYCLOPS in “All for
1 SFX/blasts: =ZZZZZAKT=
PAGE 2, panel one
His plan works, and a huge wave sweeps
over the deck, dousing some of the flames, but forcing Cyclops to hold
on to something to keep from being washed overboard.
1 SFX/wave: =whoooomp=
Page 2, panel two
Not so fortunate are the two unconscious
naval officers, who, Cyclops notices with alarm, are being swept out to
sea as the wave he created retracts.
2 SFX/wave: =PSSSSH=
Page 2, panel three
Cyclops dives for the officer nearest him,
managing to catch him or her in time to keep him or her from being pulled
3 CYCLOPS: ENNGH!
Page 2, panel four
…but less lucky is the other officer,
whom Cyclops is forced to watch be swept away to sea.
Mercifully, the fire, boat, and both officers
are beginning to blip out as the Danger Room Hologram begins to shut itself
4 TAILLESS/ELECTRONIC: Attempt EIGHT. Simulation
Page 2, panel five
Now standing alone in the middle of
the pristine Danger Room, Cyclops bows his head in frustration as he receives
5 TAILLESS/ ELECTRONIC: LOSSES: Three. Self-ENDANGERMENT
at UNACCEPTABLE risk level.
PAGE 3, panel one
6 TAILLESS/ ELECTRONIC: Less than .008 chance remaining
of favorable outcome.
Cut to an establishing shot of Bayville
High (so marked, please).
1 TAILLESS: Scott?
Page 3, panel two
In the crowded, bustling school hallway
(which is filled with happy, healthy, multi-ethnic teens, please), Jean
Grey is rushing to catch up with Scott Summers, who is currently standing
in front of an open locker, frowning at a piece of paper in his hand.
Jean looks a little concerned.
2 JEAN: Scott, you ran out of TRIG
so fast I didn’t get a chance to say hi.
Page 3, panel three
3 JEAN: Are you OKAY?
4 SCOTT: I’m fine, Jean, but –
Jean accepts the paper Scott thrusts
towards her and glances down at it with a puzzled arch of one eyebrow as
Scott remains by his open locker, clearly frustrated about something.
5 SCOTT: -- LOOK at this!
Page 3, panel four
6 JEAN: An A MINUS. That’s GREAT, Scott, why are
7 SCOTT: GREAT? That’s totally LESS than great,
that’s what the MINUS means.
Jean looks up at Scott with a laugh
as she hands the paper back. Scott is thrusting it back into his locker,
now turning towards Jean with a sudden rush of worried confession.
8 JEAN: You’re KIDDING me, right?
Page 3, panel five
9 SCOTT: It’s not just the TEST. I can’t beat
that DANGER ROOM simulation back at the Institute, and Professor Xavier
designed it specifically FOR me.
10 SCOTT: I’m just afraid I’m SLIPPING, you know?
I mean –
Scott slams his locker shut as he strides
angrily away from it, towards us (that is, into extreme foreground), still
frowning, as Jean, in midground, watches him go with a startled expression,
agape even. She can’t believe how hard he’s being on himself.
11 SFX/locker: =slaaam=
PAGE 4, panel one
12 SCOTT: -- what if I’m not as CAPABLE as everyone
THINKS I am?
Cut back to the Danger Room fire simulation.
It’s much as it was on page one, but this time, Cyclops already has one
of the officers over his shoulder in a fireman carry, and is trying to
figure out how to get to the one closer to the fiery cabin.
Page 4, panel two
Now Cyclops uses his concussive beams
to knock something (a plane, a structural part of the ship, etc.) over
onto the deck more or less between him and the impassable, burning deck
separating him from the second unconscious officer. He’s hoping to make
a kind of a bridge.
1 SFX/blasts: =ZZZZZAKT=
Page 4, panel three
The good news is that whatever he fired
at is falling more or less where he wanted it to –
2 SFX as needed
Page 4, panel four
-- the bad news is that as it makes contact
with the burning deck, it falls through it, collapsing even more of the
fiery deck down towards the volatile cargo area.
The ship is starting to go up in a fiery
explosion as the scene once again begins to fade out.
3 TAILLESS/ELECTRONIC: Attempt NINETEEN.
Page 4, panel five
4 TAILLESS/ ELECTRONIC: LOSSES: Total. Self-ENDANGERMENT
at UNACCEPTABLE risk level.
Once again alone in the middle of the
Danger Room, Cyclops grits his teeth and removes his visor, this time blasting
the ceiling speaker out in his frustration.
Remember to make the strength of the
beams coming out of his now-uncovered eyes look dangerous – the subtext
being that this is a lot of power for a teenage boy to have to control.
5 SFX/blasts: =ZZZZZAKT=
PAGE 5, panel one
6 TAILLESS/ ELECTRONIC: Less than .012 chance remaining
of favvvvvvv –
Cut to later that day, dinnertime
at the institute. All of the Evolution X-men – Scott, Jean, Rouge, Ororo
(Storm), Logan (Wolverine), Kurt (Nightcrawler), Evan (Spyke), and Kitty
(Shadowcat) – are in their civvies, clamoring happily and noisily around
the dinner table. (Well, Wolvie is never exactly happy, and Scott is still
sulking, but in general, there’s a feeling of exuberance and ease). I know
there’s an awful lot of them, but remember, you wanted to draw comics!
As the “adults” in this
version of continuity, Ororo and Logan take the heads of the table, and
seem the most detached from the action. As the youngest, Kitty, Kurt, and
Evan are very much at the center of it, shoving each other out of the way
as they load their plates (in fact, have Kitty reaching through Kurt to
get a bread roll or some such).
Rogue is asking Scott to
pass her a pitcher of milk that’s on the table. And, what the heck – let’s
say they’re having hamburgers.
A ceiling t.v. (as established in the animated series)
is on, currently showing the news, the current report involving a large,
out-of-control apartment complex fire with the text “Bayville Garden Apartments”
appearing beneath the concerned reporter. Please do everything you can
to keep the t.v. shot of the fire visible throughout this whole page.
1 KURT: Mmmm – I’ve been waiting for
dinner ever since LUNCH!
Page 5, panel two
2 EVAN: Get out of the WAY, Kurt! I’m STARVING!
3 ROGUE: Hey, Shades – pass me the MILK, will ya?
In the process of passing the milk
to Rogue, Scott becomes distracted by the t.v. report, uncharacteristically
fumbling and spilling milk on Rogue.
Rogue jumps up with a scowl as Jean
glances at Scott with concern, the kids laugh, Logan ignores it and keeps
eating, and Ororo gets up to get a (kitchen) towel.
Kurt is already preparing to playfully
hurl a burger at Scott.
4 T.V./electronic: …where a RAGING FIRE
threatens the lives of several TENANTS still trapped inside...
Page 5, panel three
5 ROGUE: Hey! Do those glasses make you BLIND now!?
6 KURT: Ooh! Food fight!!!
veryone (except Logan, who continues to ignore
him utterly and calmly keeps eating) jumps back, surprised, as Scott rounds
on Kurt, snapping at him.
7 SCOTT: NO!
Page 5, panel four
8 SCOTT: No food fight, Kurt. That was an ACCIDENT.
Rogue, I’m SORRY.
Scott storms out of the room, frowning bitterly,
as everyone watches him go with confusion – what’s gotten into him?
Rogue is still standing, brushing off her
clothes with a frown as Ororo starts to help mop up the table. Jean and
Kurt are fretting.
9 SCOTT: Nobody’s PERFECT, okay?
Page 5, panel five
10 SCOTT: If you NEED me, I’ll be helping out with
that FIRE EVACUATION.
11 ROGUE: Hey, it’s no biggie. You don’t need to
go charging into a BURNING BUILDING over a little spilt MILK…
12 KURT: Is he OKAY?
13 JEAN: Scott’s been under a lot of PRESSURE lately.
Ororo hands Rogue the towel (to clean herself
up with) as Logan mumbles into his dinner plate, Kitty looks up at Jean,
and Jean turns to the t.v. report with hope lighting up her face.
14 LOGAN/small: Yeah. Of the SELF-INFLICTED
PAGE 6, panel one
15 KITTY: Anything we can do to HELP?
16 JEAN: Well, ACTUALLY….
Cut to Cyclops, now at the real
fire. He’s fighting his way through the burning building. As the t.v. report
suggested, before it went up in flames, this place was an apartment building,
Cyclops now in someone’s actual apartment, and this fire has been burning
long and hard – the floor’s about to go – is, in fact, already gone in
spots – thick, black smoke fills the air, and all visible furniture has
been burned to a crisp.
Additionally, though we
don’t necessarily have to be able to see all of this in this one shot,
an Asian fireman lays on the ground just inside the apartment door (which
I’m imaging against the west wall), unconscious and still holding a non-functioning
fire hose, and a young Latino boy is huddled in the north-east corner by
the room’s large north-wall windows, terrified. Across from the front door,
on the east wall, is a closed door leading to another room we can’t see
Cyclops is pretty much in the
center of the apartment, currently using his visor-controlled concussive
blasts to drop a wall full of rubble in front of the apartment’s front
door (just behind the unconscious fireman), since the outside hallway is
in back draft flux (in other words: a veritable tidal wave of flames is
coming in through the apartment’s open front door, and Cyclops is causing
the wall around the doorway to collapse in order to halt the progress of
those flames before they burn the fireman and super-heat the room). The
floor between Cyclops and the closed east-wall door is visibly the most
damaged and unreliable.
1 SFX/blasts: =ZZZZZAKT=
Page 6, panel two
Stay in tight as Cyclops
gets down and rolls across a narrow patch of seemingly sturdy floor, heading
towards the young boy in the northeast corner of the room. The two large
windows behind the boy make it clear that we’re not on the first floor
(let’s say we’re on the third floor).
Page 6, panel three
The glass from the windows explodes
as with grit teeth, Cyclops scoops the boy up in his arms, sheltering him
from the rain of glass.
At the same time, crying sounds can be heard coming
from the next room, but there’s no obvious way to cross the burning, unstable
floor to get to that doorway.
2 SFX/window: =KSSSSH=
Page 6, panel four
3 SFX: =waaaah waaah=
As Cyclops stands again,
both he and the boy turn towards one of the now glassless windows with
looks of surprise – bounding cheerfully in are Jean, Rogue, Nightcrawler,
Spyke, and Shadowcat (all in full costume).
4 JEAN: Need a little HELP, Cyclops?
Page 6, panel five
Close on Cyclops, looking surprised and uncertain.
PAGE 7, panel one
Another close-up of Cyclops, but this
time he’s grinning with gratitude and renewed confidence.
1 CYCLOPS: Yeah. I do.
Page 7, panel two
As Cyclops begins shouting out orders,
the X-Men leap into action! Since we’re tight for space, you’ll probably
want to stay close on Scott and whichever X-man he’s commanding panel to
In this panel, Cyclops addresses Nightcrawler as
he points towards the east doorway.
2 CYCLOPS: NIGHTCRAWLER – I think there’s
a baby in that room, but the floor’s UNSTABLE. I need you to teleport in
there, grab it, and teleport out!
Page 7, panel three
3 NIGHTCRAWLER: On it!
Nightcrawler disappears in a puff of
smoke (or however his teleportation visual effect is going to be rendered
on the cartoon – add SFX as needed, classic “BAMF”?) as Cyclops, still
holding the boy, turns to Jean, who is already holding one hand to her
head, eyes closed, and pointing with the other towards the south wall.
4 CYCLOPS: Jean, is there anyone else still
in the building?
Page 7, panel four
5 JEAN: In the BACK ROOM. A WOMAN, she’s barely
Shadowcat starts through the southern
wall and Rogue is standing near the unconscious fireman as Cyclops points
to the hose beneath the fireman.
6 CYCLOPS: SHADOWCAT – I’m leaving her to
Page 7, panel five
7 SHADOWCAT: Don’t worry, Cyclops, I’ll get her!
8 CYCLOPS: And ROGUE – absorb some knowledge from
that FIREMAN and get that HOSE working!
Nightcrawler pops back in, smiling
and holding a baby, as Rogue kneels down by the unconscious fireman, touching
his forehead with her bare hands to absorb his knowledge of the fire-fighting
equipment. I believe she closes her eyes when she does this but check any
cartoon character specifications you may have.
As Cyclops barks one more command to
a slightly peeved Rogue, Spyke, still standing near one of the blown-out
windows, addresses Cyclops.
9 CYCLOPS: Don’t touch him long enough
to HURT him, though!
PAGE 8, panel one
10 ROGUE: I know! I know!
11 SPYKE: And ME?
Spyke begins shooting spikes through
the north wall to create a ladder on the outside of the building, as Shadowcat
phases back in, pulling a pretty, coughing, Latino women (mother of the
kid and the baby) behind her.
Rogue is, by now, masterfully handling
the fire hose, dousing the flames outside the apartment’s front door. Everyone
1 CYCLOPS: You’re our EXIT plan, Spyke!
We’ll need some kind of LADDER to carry the causalities DOWN.
Page 8, panel two
2 SPYKE: You GOT it, Cyclops!
3 WOMAN/SFX: =kaff kaff =
All smiling with pride, the team start
moving the causalities towards and out the window (except for Rogue, who
holds the fire at bay). Show at least one of them climbing down Spyke’s
Maybe Jean is now carrying the kid
Cyclops had as Cyclops gets the fireman over his shoulder in – ironically
– a fireman’s carry. Kitty is still helping the woman.
Needs to be clear here that they’ve
been completely successful. Jean is beaming a smile at Cyclops.
4 JEAN: See? You did it.
Page 8, panel three
5 CYCLOPS: Thanks to YOU guys.
Cut back to the Institute. Scott, in his
civvies, is sitting with Professor X in Charles’ study.
6 CAPTION: Later, back at the Xavier Institute
for Gifted Children…
Page 8, panel four
7 SCOTT: I don’t GET it, professor. When I had a
REAL fire to deal with, everything worked out FINE.
8 SCOTT: But I’ve tried that DANGER ROOM exercise
THIRTY times now, and I STILL can’t get through it!
Professor X smiles kindly at Scott,
maybe even giving him a paternal pat on the shoulder.
9 SCOTT: Is there something WRONG
with the SIMULATION?
Page 8, panel five
10 PROF X: No, Scott. And there’s nothing wrong
with YOU, either.
11 PROF X: I DESIGNED that exercise to see how long
it would take you to REALIZE that you DON’T have to face challenges ALONE.
Scott beams with pride now, as Prof
X smiles at him with paternal affection.
12 PROF X: Remember, you’re part of the
13 PROF X: You can do GREAT things on your own,
but there’s NO LIMIT to what you can accomplish with the help of your FRIENDS!